a friendly parody of Hot Abercrombie Chick's Blog

Saturday, March 13, 2004
Wiccans Molest Children!
It's true...

Anyone who believe wicca isnt a real religion is very much mistaken. And for the record- christianity only exists to justify capitalism so, if anything, that isnt a religion! But, lets not go down that road.... or else im just as bad as those who say wicca isnt a real religion. Before you start a debate, may i suggest you know what you are talking about- for example, did you know wicca is the fastest growing religion in the USA? NO??? I'll try and be suprised.....

Dont try and debate things you know nothing about, its just sad. Oh, and remember- the only so called 'devil'- is ignorance.

-- from Melanie-Louise


Christianity only exists to justify capitalism? What a flippin' idiot! Is she talking about the Christianity of the Christ who told his followers to sell all their possessions, give the money to the poor, and follow him? We all know that the only people who whine about capitalism are the lazy, stupid, and poor. Often lazy, stupid, and poor college students who get caught up in all the liberal-socialistic hubbub going on around college campuses. Get a clue. There are people out there who are better and smarter than others, and they are entitled to own businesses and factories. If you don't like it, don't get a job! It's that simple. No one owes you a paycheck unless you earn it.

But anyway, back to the gothy girl thing. Wicca obviously cannot be the fastest growing religion in the USA since it isn't a religion. But of course there are little social outcast gothies who think it is cool--I won't deny that. I guess being an athiest just isn't cool anymore, eh? So the kids have to pretend to believe this whole Wicca thing. But we all know they don't believe it. They're just trying to rebel against all things Christian, because Christianity represent 'the establishment.' Ooh no!

If the only devil is ignorance, Wiccans are already burning in hell. See, I don't get it--if Wiccans are prepared to actually claim that they believe in these funny gods and goddesses, and in the spirits and powers of the four elements, why wouldn't they believe in a devil too? Oh yes, the reply is always "Satan is part of Christianity." And of course, since the goal of "believing" Wicca is just to do something unChristian, they can't recognize the devil. Silly kids.

The 'Four' Elements

Really, anybody who claims to believe in powers of the 'four' elements must be a blooming idiot or a liar. Because we all know that matter does not come in the types: earth, air, wind, and fire. These kids aren't totally blind to the facts, are they? The whole four elements thing just proves that Wicca is a long-dead religion.

And did I mention that all Wiccans are child molestors? All of them.
Abolish Wicca NOW!
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By NotAbercrombie @ 3:41 PM

Wednesday, March 10, 2004
Attack of the Wiccans!


The Devil is Real!

"Well being that the pentagram is red and looks like its "burned" to her skin and the previous picture you made her look like a devil, I assumed [that the star in the picture of the previous post was meant to imply that HAC was Satan]. I never meant to disrespect Christianity. But it is true. There is no devil in Hindu,Buddhist or Pagan religions. That's why I said the devil was a figure created by Christianity. Thus I believe the devil's not real because that's not my religion."

Satan must be real, because TeenWitch has seen him! How else would she know that the previous picture of HAC looked like the devil? If there was no devil, nothing could look like the devil. Thus, the devil is real.

Wicca Isn't a Real Religion!

"Wicca is a religion just like Christianity, Jewish, Buddhism, Hindu and Muslim. If you altered any of their symbols I'm sure there would be massive debate on this board. Please be respectful to other religions. The pentagram is the symbol for Wicca. Not Satan who has nothing to do with Wicca and is just a figure created by Christianity."

Well, Wicca isn't quite like Christianity, "Jewish," Buddhism, Hindu, or "Muslim." The difference? Those are real religions! Meaning, ones that people actually follow (people who aren't disillusioned little goth girls who want to be different in a 'creative' way). Since Wicca isn't a real religion, it doesn't get to have a symbol. So the pentagram can be the symbol for whatever I want it to be for.

Now, since I have already proved that Satan is real, Wicca certainly must have something to do with Satan. Because only the devil would lead people away from the light and into the scary forest where they can chant and dance nude while pretending to make spells with the help of the goddess of the forest, or some mumbo jumbo like that.

Abolish Wicca NOW!
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By NotAbercrombie @ 10:07 PM

Child Pornography

Blogroll Me, Losers!

Reasons to Legalize Child Pornography:

1. Oops, she was under 18?

How many of us actually know how old those porno chicks are? We could be looking at a 15 year old for all we know. Is that our responsibility? How about those law enforcement people just work on catching the people who make child porn, so we don't have to worry about accidentally downloading a picture that will get us two years in the slammer?

2. No one gets hurt...

Sure, they say that looking at child pornography contributes to pedophilia and a variety of other bad things including but not limited to male pattern baldness and obesity. But does correlation imply causation? Maybe the people looking at child pornography are actually less likely to go and commit a crime because they have something to satisfy themselves with. Think of how many children will suffer if they actually eliminated child pornography! All those pervs will have nothing to satisfy their urges, so they will have to go out and get the real thing. Legalize child porn to save the children!

3. It's Fun!

Like downloading illegal music or movies, some people just get a thrill out of doing something forbidden. Would it make any difference if the girl in the picture was actually some emaciated 21 year old who looks like she's 13 because she starves herself? Probably not. But that thrill of looking up taboo porn is enough to make many people go out and look for the real thing. Legalize it, and the thrill is gone. We would have more luck getting rid of child pornography by legalizing it!

Legalize Child Porn NOW!
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By NotAbercrombie @ 10:48 AM

Tuesday, March 09, 2004
Abolish Welfare NOW!

Three Reasons to Abolish Welfare:

1. Poor People are Lazy!

That's right. My tax dollars are going to fatten up a bunch of welfare mommas and their seven dirty little children, and I'm mad about it! If these people would stop laying back and having babies and go out and get a job at McDonalds, they could actually buy their Big Macs instead of wasting the tax dollars of productive American citizens!

2. Poor People are Fat and Ugly

Since they're all feasting on fat-filled burgers and 128 oz sodas, welfare children are fat. We already know their mothers are fat, and these bad habits are being passed down to the next generation. And we all know that fat people tend to be ugly. Is it my responsibility to pay for ugly people to become even uglier so I can wait in line at the supermarket for them to buy a dozen boxes of donuts with food stamps while being revolted by their ugly faces and fat rolls? I think not!

3. MY Right to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness

Hey, it makes me unhappy to pay taxes for welfare. That makes welfare unconstitutional, right? And what about liberty, don't I have the freedom to keep every bit of money I can earn? No wonder these fat slobs don't want to get off the dole, as soon as they do, the government starts taking away their money to pay for their lazy neighbors who didn't feel like getting a job! My life is being severely shortened by the stress the whole welfare state gives me.

Abolish Welfare NOW!
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By NotAbercrombie @ 9:56 AM

Abercrombie and What?

That's right Amanda, we see your true colors...

Welcome to NOT Abercrombie Chick!

Keep in mind that this is like, totally a friendly parody site. It is not at all, in any way motivated by jealousy. No, not at all. I'm not jealous, are you? I don't care that she gets a thousand visitors a day while us other folk get so few. I mean, her posts are so like, insightful! You know? I can see why so many people come to her Blog. It has nothing at all to do with her looks. That's silly.

So anyway, welcome to NOT Abercrombie Chick.
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By NotAbercrombie @ 8:38 AM


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